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okay, so I don't usually post big personal vents on here, but I just need to get it out.


my grandma is sick. really sick. she's got both lungs eat up with cancer, and they're saying she's got three months max to live.

But here's the thing. I'm not upset about it.

I know I should be... but she's just put my family through so much over the years. Every time i can remember feeling secure, settled, and happy, she would come along and fuck it up.
she tricked my mom into letting her adopt me as a kid, then used me to get mom to do whatever she wanted.
she kicked us out pretty much any time we disagreed with her.
she got my dad sent back to jail.
when my grandpa was sick, she would keep his medicine from him so he'd get sicker, so hospice would come take him so she didn't have to take care of him.
she's selfish and stubborn and plays the guilt card or threatens to call the police when she doesn't get her way. If she's not getting all the attention, she plays the guilt card or gets mad and doesn't talk to us -- like on this past christmas, we were watching Kori --my little sister-- open all her toys and get excited about it, and she started trying to mke us feel guilty because we weren't listening to every word she said.
She's got the attitude of a stuck-up scene kid in an old woman's body, when you get right down to it.

so... when it's all said and done, I just CAN'T make myself upset that she's gone be gone soon. and i feel bad about that, but it doesn't change the fact.
and i know it probably makes me a bad person, but a part of me just wishes it would just hurry up and be over so my life can get back to normal.

....fuck, i don't even know anymore...

Writer's Block: Snack attack

What food would you never put in your mouth for any reason, and why?

Hmm.... Calamari, because squids are my favorite animal, so it would just seem wrong to me.

Writer's Block: So close to reality.

Imagine an online game which is so close to reality, that you can feel and touch your opponent. What sport, activity or game would you want to play?

Wow, I haven't posted anything in like... FOREVER on here ^^;

but, ah.... well, do I only get to pick one? because I can't decide between Bioshock, Prototype, and Pokemon |D
Bioshock: Snap your fingers and set people on fire, shoot lightning from your hands, freeze people in mid-attack... all AWESOME.
Prototype: Run up walls, FUCKING FLY, slice helicopters in half... HELL YES.
Pokemon: Well... having real --or in this case, almost real-- Pokemon has been a dream of mine since i was 7 years old ♥

oh, and this is just me being a dork, but I'd like playing Animal Crossing that way just to relax |D

ooh, ooh! wait! MARIO! any of the mario games would be awesome, too!

Writer's Block: Fall Footwear

Are you a boot person or a shoe person? Why?

I'm a Converse Chuck Taylor person. Seriously, they're the only shoes i've worn since 8th grade.

Writer's Block: Kanye West's Tweet Apology

How do you feel about Kanye West admitting his past mistakes and apologizing to Taylor Swift on Twitter? Is he trying to win hearts back?

I'mma let you finish, but @Johnny_C has the best Twitter of all time! Of ALL TIME!

Writer's Block: My Personal Concert

If you could have any musician or band play live - just for you and your friends - who would you pick?

Ludo, Ludo, Ludo, Ludo, Ludo, Ludo, Ludo.
What's your favorite music video of all time?

Pretty much ANY of Ludo's videos. they're always so quirky and funny and Geekilicious ♥

Writer's Block: Super Computer

What do you wish your computer or laptop could do much better than it does now?

I have to put a fan under my computer to keep it from overheating when i use it, and it's irritating as shit. it ALWAYS overheats when i try to play a game unless i have 2 fans pointed at it, one under it and one facing the top.

Writer's Block: Mind reader

If you were given the choice to read one other person's thoughts, but only if they could read yours too, would you take it? If so, who would you choose, and why?

Yeah, and I would choose my best friend, Ariel, probably. Because we don't have any secrets between each other, and i think it would be awesome to be able to have whole conversations with her without actually saying a word XD

Writer's Block: The tenth time's the charm

What movie have you seen the most times in your life? How many times have you seen it? Will you ever grow tired of it?

Definitely the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I saw it damn near every friday night for over a year :D audience participation is fun.

Writer's Block: Twilight is nearing

How do you feel about the upcoming Twilight film? Are you a fan or a critical bystander?

I really can't stand Twilight. I read the first 3 books, half of the 4th, and i saw the first movie, so I really DID give it a chance...
and for a few months, i let myself get caught up in the fandom, but i quickly snapped back to my senses.

I think it's an awful series, the characters have no depth, it reads like a fanfic (and not even a very good one), and it makes abusive relationships look romantic. honestly, if it weren't for that last fact, i wouldn't care one way or the other about it, but since we now have a large chunk of the next generation thinking that stalking and threats of violence are sweet, i really hate it and i have absolutely no respect for the author.

Writer's Block: No bloody way

Could you ever be good friends with someone who hunted purely for sport?

I could still be their friend, but I wouldn't have very much respect for them.

Hunt all you want, as long as you actually use it for food. Zombies are the only thing that should be hunted for sport.